25 years on
by TimrousBeastie
Summary: It is 25 years since the Doctor left Rose. Now she goes to Bad Wolf Bay to remember...angst, but with a happyish ending... as happy as an angsty ending can be. Short, oneshot. It was just an idea that sprung to mind. My first fic so reviewscomments are ap


25 years. 25 years since she'd last spoken to him. She was on the beach. The same grey beach she'd been on all those years before. Saying goodbye… Except it hadn't been goodbye. It should've been. But it hadn't. Her mind had refused to accept it. She'd often talked to him in her mind, and imagined he'd talked back. But as the years dragged on, she'd learnt that it destroyed her even more to think about him.

She'd locked it away. Everything. All that she'd felt for him. All that she'd remembered of him. All that she'd shared with him. All that she'd learnt from him. Now that's all locked away, there's nothing left. Just an empty shell of the once vibrant Rose. No hope; no love; no fear; no joy; no excitement. Her deep aching heart had even numbed her to sorrow.

25 years on, and she was still dead inside. She just hoped the outside would catch up soon. Just put an end to her now-meaningless life.

She stopped on the deserted beach. More or less in the same place as before, all those years ago. She likes to think she can see the footprints from her last visit. She knows it is impossible, but she goes on imagining anyway.

As the salty wind flies across her face and through her hair, she decides to do something that she hasn't done for so long. She opens up her Pandora's box. The well of memories in the back of her mind. And she falls through them.

Flashes of the Doctor pass in her mind's eye. Oh God. So much. So missed. And she hasn't forgotten anything. She groans with grief as she sees him. Both of him. Her old Doctor. The new Doctor. Now he's talking to her. Now he's taking her hand. Now he's hugging her. Now he's showing her something. Now he's comforting her.

Tears stream, unnoticed, down her face as she howls up at the grey sky. The memories crash down upon her; wave after wave. She remembers his enthusiasm when explaining something to her. She remembers the thrill of finding something new. She remembers the excitement she felt around him. She remembers her love for him…. A fresh wave of tears slide down her cheeks.

Without even realising, she falls to her knees into the damp sand. Too overwhelmed by all the uncovered emotions. All she could see was his face. All she could hear was his voice. All she could feel was his hand upon hers. She could smell his smell. But she couldn't taste him. The simple misery of something she could never have. Something which would never be…

He surrounded her. His cheerful face. Plastered with his big, trademark grin which had never failed to infect her with his warmth… Except now. She sobs, realising she will never see it again.

She feels weak now. Oh so very weak. As her back falls into the sand, she wonders vaguely whether it's possible to die from a broken heart.

She hears music. It pierces through the haze of her anguished mind. She doesn't care. She shakes her head, almost as if to shake off the music. She remembers his soft, warm, comforting hand holding hers. Her heart almost bursts. She desperately longs for the feel of his hand in hers.

She knows that she's failed him. He told her to have a fantastic life. It may've been different circumstances. She knows it was the younger Doctor which had said that. But she knows he wanted her to have a good life. She hasn't. She cries. Maybe if she cries enough, the pain will go away. Deep in her heart she knows this isn't true. She could cry for an eternity, but nothing would change. She cries anyway.

The music will not relent. It trickles though her, and she stops suddenly. She can feel it. She listens to it. Its pure and beautiful melody surrounding her. A low, reverberating sound. Twisting and turning into rhythms and tunes she'd never thought possible. It's both mournful and joyful… she doesn't know how that is possible but accepts it anyway. She wonders why it feels like home. Why it feels safe. It engulfs her, closing around her soul.

"_Rose"_

It is almost a whisper across the wind. And she knows it's her imagination. Now she wishes she hadn't come here. She wishes she hadn't reawakened long-forgotten memories.

"_Rose"_

This time she answers; giving in to the temptation of having one last conversation with him. It doesn't matter that it's not real. Just as long as she can hear his voice one last time.

"Yes?"

"_It's me."_

"I know."

"_No…"_ She almost hears the music laugh. But that would've been impossible.

"_I'm here. I'm with you. I'm here on the music."_

And she feels him then; closer than she's ever felt him before. He's there. Within her very being, touching her soul with his. Her heart lifts as she feels him there. She lets out an empty sob. So long. She's waited for so long.

"Is it time?"

He smiles sadly, using her own lips. _"Yes"_

She feels the joy rush through her body, and she knows he feels it too.

She feels him sigh. "_Why didn't you live on? For me? For you?"_

She doesn't have to answer. He knows what she feels. Yet she does anyway. "You weren't here." And that really was the reason. So simple, yet so complicated. Strange how something so simple could be so devastating.

"_Are you ready?"_

"Yes," she breathes. _No regrets now. Peace. Just peace and happiness_.

She feels him lift up her soul. And she's rising up – her soul mingling with his. She looks back for a final time at her lifeless body.

_No doubts now._

She entwines herself within him, and they rise up…

Higher and higher to go and dance among the stars.

Always together. Never wavering.


End file.
